Ryan and I share our google calendars with each other. to help us schedule around our lives and fit each other in. For awhile it hasn’t been working quite right. I highly recommend calendar sharing.
We took sometime out of our day to fix this, to get our plans to sync up more smoothly. Somehow, during this tech date, my calendar was wiped right off the face of the Earth and cyber space.
I cried real actual wet rolling tears over this. I know, I know: first world problem. Still a problem. My problem. Ryan, by way of comforting, said the words, ‘clean slate.’
Not good. Mayday, mayday.
Not a clean slate. A broken slate. A vaporized slate.
(Today, I can admit this ‘clean slate’ idea is ok with me. I am enjoying the new calendar although I grieve the old one. And by grieve I mean cry and each chocolate in it’s honor.)
Here are the texts my hubby and I exchanged after the debacle. I should note that Ryan’s use of the term, ‘I love you.’ Is how he ends every text to regardless of circumstance. I love that!
While my calendar is wiped clean, those events and plans still exist somewhere out in the world. Appointments, birthdays, remembrances, dates, times, and the like, are still real, I just can’t remember when or even what they all are. The dental appointments for 7 people are still a go to the dental office but I have know clue when we are supposed to show up. That means I will have to make phone calls. Oh the torture! (No seriously. Torture. The reason my phone and I are even friends at all is: email and text.)
What’s worse is that for years I have been collecting logistics for recurring events in my calendar. Where we should park for the 4th of July parade? What time to get there? Favorite spot to watch the Blue Angles, I wrote it down. I took notes on life in my calendar. I lost those notes. A practical tool that I referred to often. I even went so far as to call it an extension of my brain. It held on to information that if I tried to store in my gray matter would leak out or get lost.
It’s my worst nightmare. That is very dramatic and exaggerated. Maybe not my worst nightmare but top 10 for sure. There are expectations that people have of me but I don’t know what they are and I will surely fail them. This is always a fear. Even when the calendar was intact, I fear letting people down. About time to get over that since it happens anyway.
I have let’s see, round about zero chance of getting it all right. I will try to get it sorted out, but I will likely miss something. Congrats to you if I remember your birthday. It somehow made it into the recesses of my long term memory. If not, I love you and pray you include your birthday on your Facebook profile. I usually place people into seasons. Happy birthday summer people! You know who you are (I maybe do).
I’m glad I don’t have a better excuse for dropping the ball on life than having a calendar get deleted. I’m glad my reason for things going off the rails a little is a really mild one.
I was sort of dropping the ball on life in May anyway and in June I’m just sort of kicking the ball around. My calendar was starting to strangle me and then in a final act of life complication it disappeared. I guess it was really an unhealthy relationship, that calendar and I.
Ryan and I value simple. I almost typed that we ‘have always valued simple.’ That would be a lie. We have over complicated seasons of our lives to the breaking point. That’s how we know to value simple. My calendar, my time, was filling with too much. Arranging to see friends….tough. Time for myself, what’s that?
Now as I begin to refill my calendar, my time, it’s with more caution, more simple, more respect for my needs and the needs of my family.
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