Friday Mourning Why love Fridays? They are the end. It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized this. I was among the many who celebrated Friday. The work week was over …finally. It is now that I see it as a marking place of weeks that are slipping by. Young baby’s lives are measured in weeks. Short weeks. What an apt measure weeks are in the lives of babes. They change so much week to week. My son was 12weeks old when I wrote this. He is a wholly different person now than he was day one. He is now 18months old.:
Riley was born on a Saturday so Friday is truly the last day of a week in his life. He is an amazing boy. I see strangers smile as they pass him without saying a word. We could be in a lone corner of a park soaking in the day and then surrounded by children and adults adoring him. He attracts people to himself so I find myself answering questions about him so often. I fear that my voice is going to catch in my throat when I have to say a new week when asked about his age.
Soon I will be answering in months. Then he will be answering in fingers and years. I want to freeze time or at least slow it but of course I can’t. So now I mourn on Friday. It is the end. A unit in life is over. Sure, Friday night is still a night for fun but I have found that in the morning I reflect. This reflection leads me to tears at times.
Tears that are happy for the memories that I have and tears for the missed opportunities and failures. Tears fill my eyes at the realization of how quickly time passes with or without my participation. I am turning 30 this week. I think back over my life and it doesn’t seem that long ago that I was a child. This thought strikes to the heart of me because that means that it won’t be long before my son is 30. His fingers and toes combined won’t be enough to tell his age. I will be looking into the face of a man well into adulthood. The thought scares me as it feels me with pride. I am already proud of Riley, the man I see in my mind.
It is usually the end of a year, either birthday or New Years Day, that remember to reflect and appreciate the time that has passed. I am trying to remember to appreciate my life in smaller increments until I am appreciating each moment. Motherhood is teaching me that.